Same with us, homeschooled all three. They did some co-op but most of their friend groups were from swimming, polo, baseball, and football (the latter two for the oldest of the three). Both of my kids trained all Summer last year knowing they would not swim. Their coach is legendary but old school and brutal. You're swimming 10k on Sunday morning knowing there is not meet in sight, maybe not for the year. My son lost his junior water polo season. The competitions did come back, but the crap you have go through is nuts. The college champs meet was segregated by sex and only timed finals. My wife has had several swimmers committed for suicided ideation. She has peers who have had athletes actually succeed. My son in the military has had two good friends succeed as well.

I hope your son can find some peace in this over the Summer. Maybe he should just do Summer swim team and see if he still has the fire. I give the clubs and leagues a lot of blame for not doing more to give these kids a normal experience. There is no reason you cannot hold outdoor dual meets this Summer. It's absurd.

When my middle kid wanted to quit his Sophomore year, it was largely team culture. We encouraged him to talk to his coach, which helped a little. He also spent more time playing polo and was willing to sacrifice some performance to do both. There is no reason you can't find some balance. Maybe there is another team that has lesser commitment he can join and branch out some for his other interests. Or maybe his current team is just too much pressure. He can still swim at a lower commitment level, especially if he is a sprinter.

My youngest also had team culture issues and moved teams. The coaching was much better, team culture much worse. Third time was the charm, but it was painful.

I also might offer that there may something else that is bothering him that's just spilling into the pool.

Swimming is a big part of my family. Even my oldest swam Summer swim team at 6-3, #240, and that experience helped him qualify for interesting military training.

I wish you the best in figuring this out. But if he decides he's done, just let him go and let him find what really interests him.