Here at the distinguished university, dissertation defenses are held in pristine designated classrooms that have been graced by Mr. Jefferson himself. If one truly distinguishes himself through academia, as well fraternity activities, he may even receive the honor of defending his thesis in the rotunda. As is commonplace, we begin all proceedings with a nice fortified wine served with brie and ancient grain crackers harvested and produced from a small university sanctioned farm at our satellite campus, UVA-Malaysia. Forgive me if you were attempting humor here, sir, for if so I find it oh so droll, but I couldn't help but scoff at the ridiculousness of your proposition that we might mix academics and a sporting event.