Everything else has been said; why not give the coach a makeover, especially if we're stuck with him for possibly another two years? And for you super serious guys, don't have a coronary.

- Have him lose 35 pounds. I think he'd look better if he'd trim down some, rather than approaching the look of some of his offensive linemen..
- Definitely needs to upgrade the Virginia Tech gear. It just doesn't look right on him. Might be the weight. I think he would look better slimmer. Did I say that already? Yeah, slimmer with a turtleneck and Where Is Wally school color stripes might do the trick.
- Grow his hair long. He needs the Ed Wang look. A few of his players now are sporting that Samson sign of masculinity, and would do well to go for it. Could try different shades of die, Burnt Orange and Chicago Maroon, if he can find them at Walgreens.
- Shoes, man, the shoes, don't forget the shoes. And no, not shoes, Bum Phillips boots. Rather than squeaking into a joint with those rubbery coach shoes, well-placed taps on those heels would allow him to enter any place with agile confident authority that says I might recruit Texas, but I am Virginia Tech's coach.
- Calculator belt and gear. Take a shiny black Texas Instruments special (what model are they up to now?) and rub out Texas and put Virginia Tech there, then strap it on the side. Man! That would make him look brainy and cool with all the other changes. What mother wants her child to go to college and be dumb? He could add some pens and a comb in his front shirt pocket.
- Bag Man. I mean Yes Man to follow behind and tidy matters up. What father who needs a tractor or Caddy (TM maybe) could resist meeting such a gentleman aid and talking football?
- There's more, but I haven't thunk it yet.
- Some of you, no doubt, have more experience and a keener eye for this type of detail so please help Coach out here.
Go Hokies!