Lady in car approaching traffic light near Topsail followed by DonHo-kie(wishes he was)Hi.
"oh dear, the light turned green but all those people are still turning (right on red) and the ones coming toward me (blinking yellow light) need to get across so I just can't go. Oh dear, now the light is red again. Maybe I'll get a chance next time. Oh, maybe .....maybe.....but same thing...when do I get a chance?? Oh no, red again! Next time I'm going for sure!" (green light.....eases into intersection and just squeezes in as light changes yet again! Followed quickly by DonHo right on her ass). (approaches traffic circle) "Oh dear, what is this?? How will I know which way to turn?? I better stop and figure this out (stopping at yield sign with no-one coming). "Ok, but now there is someone in the circle, I better wait. Oh another one, but they all turn before they get to me (Duhhhhh!!). OK, here goes! (followed quickly by DonHo right on her ass).
"Oh look at this magnificent bridge......and that view!! My girlfriends are going to want to see this. I'm going to stop at the top and take a picture real quickly. I can put it on Facebook. I'll just be a few seconds....(stops right in lane for pic blocking traffic). "Oh, that is amazing! And here comes a boat under the bridge! Just one more pic! Ahhhh, that was fabulous. Oh No, another one of those circle thingies. I guess I'm just supposed to drive on and go around. EEEk, someone is waiting to get on! I better stop! (slams brakes on right IN the frikkin traffic circle with DonHo right on her ass to let guy slowing at yield sign to go.) "Whew that was close, and that rude guy behind me is flipping me off. I was just trying to be nice! OK, here's my turn. Lets see, street numbers.........101 ..........103........105... What are we looking for Ethel?? I'm going slow so we don't miss our house! We're looking for 12,605 North Beach Street....well it could be anywhere near here" (going 15 in a 35 ALL the way down the firkin beach).
"Oh look, there's that guy behind me flipping me off again. I don't understand his problem"
20 minutes and several stops to go a mile. Drinking heavily now. Rant over..... carry on!