0-10: You’d have to be criminally and certifiably insane. The risk of some emergency popping up that would invite some outside authority over to discover your parental abdication.

11: The only age where it’s potentially safe to leave your child at home alone overnight. Of course, that’s contingent on the child’s maturity level, hormonal levels, reasonableness, neighborhood safety, status of the sexual predator next-door, among many other considerations.

12-14: You’d have to be foolish and certifiably insane. Peer temptations mingled with natural raging hormonal infusions leads to neighborhoods that are “racked up”. Firecrackers in mailboxes, frightened cats, eggs and tomatoes deposited along the roadside and on car windshields, missing fifths of Cutty Sark Scots Whisky, suspicious charges on your next credit card bill, persistent foreign odors infused throughout the house...

15-21: You’d have to be oblivious or disengaged as a parent. Expect teen pack behavior: Howling, Rambling, Mobbing, Wilding, Fornicating, etc.

22+: You’d be remiss to lose a rare opportunity to simply be present with the person you’ve helped raise.