I eulogized my mom in 2016 and my father (much less formal) in 2017.

I don't know your family situation, but for my mom, I focused on the richness of her whole life. In that room the day we laid her to rest was her husband, her friends, her children, her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren. For several of those groups, they only knew her as a mother of some sort. To them, she was always old - almost one-dimensional. I reminded them of the totality of her life and that she was young before she was old. There was a time when she didn't experience aches when she walked. She was fast and fit. She was strong and resilient. She was sometimes a hellion as a child. She had boyfriends and tears and eye rolling drama. She had a bold and maybe reckless side when she met my father and married him a month later. She wore tight dresses, stayed out dancing all night, and dragged her ass to work the next morning! She had children and loved them and worried about them and wanted to strangle them. She had girlfriends she shared intimate secrets with and sometimes those secrets were about how much she wanted to beat all of us with our own arms. She was human and a woman. She was gifted with grandchildren and great grandchildren and through it all, she gave and received love. The least of all the things she was .. was just my mother, just his wife, or just their grandmother or great grandmother. While they weren't looking, she was living all the other parts too. Those other parts were what made her so incredible and irreplaceable.

Anyway, I don't know how to help you with this because it is really difficult, personal and unique for each person. I wish I could. Good luck and my sincere condolences on your loss.