Have an aunt who is in her mid 80's. Lives by herself (never married) and is still very independent, drives shops, etc.. She lives next to my mom (early 70’s) who is also her sister and they have a typical sibling relationship for that age (argue over petty stuff, but no animosity toward one another).

Aunt is starting to show signs of memory loss. When I talk to her she can forget what we are discussing at the moment, but still has excellent recall on things that happened decades ago. Mom told me today that she is starting to miss some of her bills. Apparently she has missed her phone bill a couple of times in the previous few months as well as her credit card. Aunt has no clue nor any desire to do anything online, doesn’t even have internet access at her house.

I’m concerned for both my aunt and mom. We went through Alzheimer’s with my grandmother who lived with my aunt until she passed. It was a heavy burden on both but especially my mom. I’m sure she is seeing the same issues coming around again in dealing with my aunt and it is stressing her out. We are trying to get my aunt to set up online banking and bill pay so my mom can help her out on keeping on schedule, but she has flat out refused. I know mom has aunts POA, but don’t think there is anything legally she can do at this point.

So, any advice on dealing with my aunt? I’m close enough to them that I can see them every day, and I see them at least a couple of times a week now. I feel she is headed down the dementia road and want to ensure she is taken care of properly (she does have a long term care policy, don’t know the specifics but believe it’s pretty comprehensive). I also want to take the burden off of my mom as much as is possible, because she can be as hard headed as my aunt can be as well. I think we still have time with my aunt, but her stubbornness is going to put the rest of the family in a legal bind when she can no longer make rational decisions for herself. I think the real test is going to be when she cannot safely drive, and that’s going to be soon I believe.

Thanks all.