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Joined: 05/21/2003 Posts: 53682
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Hard to figure. I lost both of my parents this winter and missed 2 days ->

with each. One day was obviously the funeral. We were local, and my dad died suddenly early Saturday AM. i got arrangements made in a few hours on Saturday. My mom was Sunday, but not unexpected (at least we knew it the week before).

Not sure I'm a good gauge, as my sister took a week each time. It all depends on how you handle these things and everybody is different. I didn't really WANT to be sitting around thinking of it, nor did I think my parents would have wanted me to. I was close to my parents, but they lived long lives are are together still, so maybe that made it easier for me to justify..

I just think it's a very difficult thing to gauge..I expect some people will want to work through it mostly (me), some will really NEED the time away (my brother and sister), and some will use it as an excuse to get out of work. Not sure you have a lot of control over which is which..UNLESS, there is a company policy you can lean on.

(In response to this post by 48zip)

Posted: 05/18/2018 at 10:54AM

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Current Thread:

What is appropriate time for bereavement leave from a job? -- 48zip 05/18/2018 08:16AM

I took two weeks when my father passed away. -- Hokie360 05/18/2018 11:44AM

Hard to figure. I lost both of my parents this winter and missed 2 days -> -- HOKIERIT 05/18/2018 10:54AM

Companies usually give 3 -- VaTechie 05/18/2018 10:53AM

Now ..estate work is somethnig entirely different. Doing that now and-> -- HOKIERIT 05/18/2018 10:58AM

So very true -- ScottsdaleHokie 05/18/2018 12:05PM

Yes, I did not have a house to deal with -- VaTechie 05/18/2018 11:11AM

Indeed! ** -- HOKIERIT 05/18/2018 11:13AM

My 2 cents (inside) -- FfxStationHokie 05/18/2018 10:42AM

And that's another issue. No policy. I asked the owner this morning -- 48zip 05/18/2018 10:53AM

Thanks to all for your input and advice. Very much appreciated. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 10:23AM

The 3 days between passing and funeral. ** -- hoosnowahokie 05/18/2018 10:21AM

I'm union, so our benefits kick butt. Here's what we get, on the company: -- Nova Hokie 95 05/18/2018 10:19AM

WOW..that is generous ** -- HOKIERIT 05/18/2018 11:04AM

I took 1 week for the passing of my wife... -- banishedtothelounge 05/18/2018 10:02AM

Better man than I. I'd be done for awhile if I had to go through that. ** -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 10:22AM

It wasn't 'sudden' but I still go thru 'stuff'... ** -- banishedtothelounge 05/18/2018 12:20PM

Ive seen 3. We used annual or personal leave. ** -- TomTurkey 05/18/2018 09:58AM

I've seen 3. -- halesvb11 05/18/2018 09:20AM

Guess I'm the weird one. I never missed more than a few hours of work for -- Hokie CPA 05/18/2018 08:51AM

It all depends. My father died and I said "Good Riddance!". This whole... -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 09:43AM

That's more like what I've done. I've been lucky in that I've never had -- 48zip 05/18/2018 09:09AM

On the other hand, I was gone for 4 days when my wife's father passed. -- Hokie CPA 05/18/2018 08:55AM

I'd give 2 days, and then allow them as much of their earned leave as -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 08:46AM

How do you schedule work to meet previously arranged deadlines? -- 48zip 05/18/2018 08:48AM

I've never been a situation where it was life or death to get something -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 09:11AM

Generally I agree, but is it a 24/7 thing? -- 48zip 05/18/2018 09:17AM

Haha. Well, you were withholding info there. Obviously has to be well -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 09:31AM

Yeah, that's the lesson I learned. ** -- 48zip 05/18/2018 09:40AM

A post-funeral phone call is justified. -- TomTurkey 05/18/2018 10:21AM

A day or two. ** -- reestuart 05/18/2018 08:43AM

For a grandparent with no travel time necessary, 2 or 3 days. ** -- RoswellGAHokie 05/18/2018 08:35AM

I took off over a month -- Hokie Koooster 05/18/2018 08:31AM

Well, I think timing and distance is an issue... -- JoesterVT 05/18/2018 08:23AM

If they're local, there's also the chance it's a MUCH closer relationship -- Nova Hokie 95 05/18/2018 10:23AM

It also means a stop by the office isn't as hard as a long distance trip. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 12:34PM

Our company gives 4 days - I think 5 is fair ** -- FfxStationHokie 05/18/2018 08:19AM

For a grandparent? -- Stork 05/18/2018 08:20AM

I think 4 days for a grandparent is reasonable ** -- FfxStationHokie 05/18/2018 08:21AM

What does one do for 4-5 days? ** -- 48zip 05/18/2018 08:29AM

Grieve ** -- BRVT 05/18/2018 08:34AM

A follow up, not meaning to sound harsh here. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 08:47AM

I did the same thing, and felt guilty that I missed what i did. I stayed> -- HOKIERIT 05/18/2018 11:12AM

Bingo. ** -- 48zip 05/18/2018 12:30PM

Serious question. What did that get you? -- ScottsdaleHokie 05/18/2018 09:43AM

Couldn't agree more. Family is top priority. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 09:50AM

So if this wasn't sudden, why was there no pre-planning? -- Nova Hokie 95 05/18/2018 10:24AM

Yep. I said this above. I spoke with the owner this morning. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 10:55AM

I get the idea perhaps you think this employee might be sandbagging a bit -- Nova Hokie 95 05/18/2018 10:59AM

He has struggled. This hasn't changed my opinion of him. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 12:29PM

In all seriousness, a dedicated employee may welcome the distraction of -- BRVT 05/18/2018 09:11AM

THAT'S the key word. Dedication. -- 48zip 05/18/2018 09:24AM

I think it is generational -- RTFC 05/18/2018 10:24AM

So, the employer/client matters more than your grandparent? Dude, this -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 09:34AM

That isn't what I said at all. Don't jump on my ass. The whole point -- 48zip 05/18/2018 09:46AM

My apologies. Didn't mean to lecture. Just giving another side, and -- CochraneResident 05/18/2018 10:24AM

Thanks. None needed. again, a difficult subject. Thanks for the input. ** -- 48zip 05/18/2018 10:50AM

Yep. Not a battle you can win or even should fight. ** -- CPRVHokie 05/18/2018 09:44AM

Hard to figure. I lost both of my parents this winter and missed 2 days ->

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